Go Gently

Day 11 of Gratitude Month.

I'm thinking today about gentleness & how the world seems in such dire need of more.  But let me bring it back down from the world to me, since that's all I can control. 

I'm in great need of gentleness & I know that this needs to come primarily from inside myself.  If I can't be gentle with myself, how can I accept it or even recognize it from others?  It suddenly occurs to me that a lot of what goes on inside of my head is abuse.  A breakthrough realization - I would never talk to another the way I routinely think it's OK to talk to myself.  If I berated Big G in the same manner as I do myself, she would in very short order - & rightfully so - pack my bags & dis-invite me from her life.  If I did it to strangers on the street I'd probably eventually get my clock adjusted.  Yet the habit of self-hurt is deeply ingrained in me, as it is in so many people.  Since I can't banish myself from myself, I'd better get busy replacing this habit with another.

I don't think anyone is born disliking themselves.  Somewhere along the way, someone we look up to says a hurtful thing to us & it goes right into the psyche along with all the other data we're inputting.  If that hurtful thing is bad enough or is repeated enough, we internalize it.  Then we take over the job of keeping us in our place.  Because heaven forbid we think we're fabulous, right?  Or, for some of us, even just good enough, OK enough to live.  What a crime against humanity this is.

Can you imagine the world if everyone thought they were fabulous & thought that everyone else was as well?  I can't picture an Iraq war in that world.  This makes me think that if I hate, even myself, then I'm contributing to the sickness that seems on the verge of overtaking us all.  It's not only myself to whom I owe greater loyalty, love, gentleness then - it's to each person who lives on the planet with me.  If I abuse & hate me, then I abuse & hate you too.  As the saying goes, "Let it begin with me."

So today I'm going to offer thanks for gentleness & a request to the Creator that I be gently reminded not to abuse myself any more.

Comments

[Kikipotamus the Hobo]

Absolutely right on. Jungian analysis helped me give my inner self-hating voice a name so I could dialogue with it, ask it what it wants, tell it when to bugger off, write letters to it. All that helped so much.

More recently Eckhart Tolle's teachings have helped me dis-identify altogether from voices in the head. Tapes.

You have taken the most important step of all...to acknowledge that it's there in your head and not healthy. Not healthy for you or the planet. Love yourself and you love all of humanity.

Blessings to you, Neasa.

[Paris Parfait]

Such a thoughtful post. It's so true that these little emotional hurts can stay with us and we cause ourselves such harm. Too often we expect things from ourselves that we would never expect from others. Yes, it's good to strive to be our best, but it's not good to think our best isn't good enough. We must remember our own worth and value...