Perspective

Day 6 of Gratitude Month.

First order of business:  Saying a big ol' thank you to tartx of Down the Rabbit Hole for the fabulous Blogging Without Obligation gift she's sharing.  See the pretty Crow in my left-hand sidebar!  Also, a shout-out to Angie of Moxie through whom I found the pretty Crow.  OK, on to Gratitude Month fun!

I'd say yesterday's Word of the Day was consternation.  I never made it to the partial hospitalization program because my nice new medical doctor panicked & shipped my surprised butt over to the ER for an emergency psych eval.  Because I was suicidal.  Well, friends, I've been that way for many moons & I'm still here, A.  And B, Ms. Doctor wasn't listening when both Big G & I tried to explain to her that I was running late that very moment for PHP, where I would surely get superior mental health care than I would sitting on a gurney in an indifferent ER.  Our objections were in vain & I was, what Big G called, "pink slipped." 

Two very large but polite EMTs bundled me into the back of an ambulance then meandered lazily on over to the hospital while I tried to pretend I wasn't experiencing this.  Oh, it gets better, because after what I considered a decent length of time being reasonable with zero results, I did indeed show out. 

I didn't even mean to though - that's the thing.  I only wanted to find a nurse & inquire how many more hours' wait might be required before a lab tech could be expected to materialize & draw my blood.  I moseyed out the curtain & made my slow, careful way about 10 steps toward the desk, when the froggish-looking woman they'd posted to "observe" me squawked in alarm & I turned to confront her for speaking to me so only to find the entire ER galvanized & poised to tackle me.  I was afraid to breathe, but I was also furious & embarrassed.  Never a good combination for me. 

Anyway, I just decided to go to sleep until it was all over.  I assumed someday it would be.  When in comes this crazy guy who poured gasoline all over his parent's home, them & himself.  They're not real big on HIPAA regulations in this particular ER, because I knew as much or more about my other peers' diagnoses as well. At any rate, Mr. Petro was thwarted before he could start the happy conflagration.  And boy! was he mad!  Threatening to kill the cop, using most colorful language, just generally being a very loud nut job.

I was discharged about this time by a most sensible ER doctor who probably figured Fireboy was a greater threat to himself or others than I was.  But at least I was humiliated, wounded (lab tech), hungry, traumatized & exhausted, so that's something, no?  And I will start the PHP this morning, where no-doubt calm & self-assured mental health professionals will assist me in my goals to get better.

So today I'm grateful for perspective.  I could be much, much worse.

Comments

[Princess Haiku]

Your experience sounds very difficult and I hope you are feeling better today. I was just thinking about you and how you haven't stopped by in months. -And I wasn't blogging for a few months myself.

The staff at the ER sound like they have their own mental health problems. It is so difficult to live with depression. The fortunate thing about it, is that it prevents one from being shallow. -And there are the creative attributes that go along with mood disorders.

Psychobabble aside- I wish you returned faith in life and a creative Autumn

Your blog friend,
Princes Haiku

[Princess Haiku]

Your experience sounds very difficult and I hope you are feeling better today. I was just thinking about you and how you haven't stopped by in months. -And I wasn't blogging for a few months myself.

The staff at the ER sound like they have their own mental health problems. It is so difficult to live with depression. The fortunate thing about it, is that it prevents one from being shallow. -And there are the creative attributes that go along with mood disorders.

Psychobabble aside- I wish you returned faith in life and a creative Autumn

Your blog friend,
Princes Haiku

[Princess Haiku]

Your experience sounds very difficult and I hope you are feeling better today. I was just thinking about you and how you haven't stopped by in months. -And I wasn't blogging for a few months myself.

The staff at the ER sound like they have their own mental health problems. It is so difficult to live with depression. The fortunate thing about it, is that it prevents one from being shallow. -And there are the creative attributes that go along with mood disorders.

Psychobabble aside- I wish you returned faith in life and a creative Autumn

Your blog friend,
Princes Haiku

[Angie]

Aye, me. What a mess. Hospitals can just be a bunch-o-trouble. But I am grateful for perspective when I get it, too. :)

xoxo
and thanks for the shout-out...